Pupils
by WilderCapall
Summary: When one nutjob notices the puzzling lack of pupils in the Yu-Gi-Oh-verse, it's up to Jaden, Yubel and Atticus to stop the Logic Singularity before the entire multiverse collapses around them! Crackfic, no pairings.


THIS IS MY 50TH FANFIC! HUZZAH! Well, technically not because I've deleted a couple and I used to have a different account, but shut up XD

At least half of the GX cast lacks pupils. This both amuses and puzzles me. I decided to write a fic about it :P

**Summary: **Atticus has noticed something a bit odd about his best friend, as well as about half of the Yu-Gi-Oh world's population. Crackfic, indeterminate timeline for the purposes of ridiculous humor.

**Disclaimer:** WilderKaiserin does not own GX or any related properties. She does, however, own the Dust Speck OF DOOM.

**Pupils**

Two people stood beside Duel Academy's lighthouse. The cobalt-haired one glared angrily at what appeared to be nothing, as was his usual expression while having staring contests with his eternal rival and the only creature that had ever out-glared him: the Dust Speck.

"Hey, Zane?" asked the brunette.

"Hm?"

"How do you see?"

The Kaiser raised an eyebrow.

"…Excuse me?"

"You don't have pupils, dude."

Zane paused, blinking. Suddenly, he swore loudly, and Atticus jumped.

"Did you just notice the oddly creepy art quirk?"

"No, I lost my staring contest. Damn it, Atticus. Now she's going to mock me about that for a week." He sighed, completely unaware of the strangeness of his previous statement.

Atticus looked at Zane, thoroughly befuddled.

"…The speck is a she."

"Yeah."

"And you know this…how?"

"She told me," Zane said matter-of-factly. Atticus gave up. He didn't expect to get any more out of Zane, and the concept of an invisible, glowing, _female_ dust speck had so far eluded his best attempts to make sense of it.

After a moment of awkward silence, Zane's eyes widened, and he turned to look at his suddenly-meta best friend.

"Holy shit, I _don't_ have pupils. How the hell _do_ I see?"

Atticus shrugged.

"I just think it's funny that your brother does have them, and he's the one with glasses."

"…My life is a lie."

Atticus looked at his best friend, wondering if he should regret his decision to completely screw with Zane's mind. As a generally logical person, such particularly nonsensical elements of their world truly unsettled the Cyber duelist. A marginally insane person like Atticus could simply take it in stride (invisible-glowing-female-dust-specks were a different matter entirely), but Zane…well, Zane apparently could not.

When the blue-haired boy hadn't blinked in several minutes, Atticus began to get concerned. He waved a hand in front of Zane's face. Nothing.

"Zaaaaaaane?"

Nothing.

Gingerly, Atticus reached out and poked Zane's shoulder, preparing for his own imminent and painful death. People didn't touch the Kaiser. It was one of the cardinal rules.

Nothing.

"Well, shit. I think I broke him."

The Blizzard Prince attempted to contemplate, before remembering that he wasn't very good at contemplating. After a few headache-inducing minutes of trying to think, Jaden appeared, his mismatched, pupil-free gaze wandering aimlessly as he meandered down the pier. Atticus paid him little attention, still trying to abuse his poor brain into motion.

Until Jaden walked right past both Atticus and Zane, and strode purposefully past the lighthouse and into the ocean. He bobbed to the surface with a loud and undignified splutter, and a soaked, hissing cat launched from his backpack to his head and back onto the dock. A damp and rather irritated Yubel manifested herself and floated after Pharaoh, shaking her head until her hair resembled your average Puffskein.

The spirit looked around for a minute or so before alighting upon the semi-catatonic Kaiser and his hapless companion. Yubel looked at the small, frantic creature currently spinning in circles around Zane's head.

"That's not going to do much," said Yubel. The Speck halted and looked plaintively – well, insomuch as the possible figment of a slightly-deranged imagination could be plaintive - at the duel spirit.

Atticus, who still could not see the Speck, stared at Yubel instead.

"Well, uh," he said, "what _is_, then? Because his mom is going to kill me if I broke him. If his confusingly-badass little brother doesn't get to me first."

"_Someone_ tried to shoehorn logic into this trainwreck," Yubel sighed. "It's happened before. So now, all of the people without pupils are kind of screwed. Your friend just seems to have taken it harder than most."

The Blizzard Prince inwardly berated himself. Truly, he should have known better. Logic and anime had never mixed well.

"Jaden, get out of the water and turn your normal eyes back on," Yubel snapped. "We need to figure out how to fix this thing, before the entire pupil-less population ends up like this guy." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Zane, who did not respond.

The red-clad boy crawled onto the pier and shook out his soaking wet mop of two-toned hair. His eyes faded to brown and regained black points.

"Phew, that _sucked_. When I figure out who tried to make this place make sense, I'm…well, I'm going to be very annoyed with them, that's what." He laughed.

"Hey, uh…" Atticus said, "can I come with you? I want to help. It, uh…well, it _may_, _possibly_…"

"Spit it out," Yubel said tiredly. "We do have work to do, you know. Ugh. And we just got back from patching up the last hole in the Fourth Wall, too."

"It-may-possibly-be-my-fault-please-don't-kill-me," Atticus stammered.

Jaden stared at him.

"It was _you?_ _You_ tried to implement _logic?_ Wow, the only person I would have guessed after that would be me."

Atticus pouted. He wasn't _that_ illogical, was he…?

Oh. Wait. He sighed.

"Okay, but can I come with you anyway?"

Yubel didn't answer, instead turning to her partner.

"Your call, Jaden."

The boy hesitated. It wouldn't hurt to have some damn help for once. But Atticus…might not be much help.

"Fine," he finally said. "First, we need to find all of the people without pupils and make sure they don't hurt themselves. Then, we need to find the Logic Singularity and figure out how to stop it from leaking too much sense into a show so full of Mind Screw and other such weirdness. And that all needs to happen _before_ the whole place collapses around us."

"Wow. I screwed over the entire universe?"

"No, Atticus. You potentially screwed over the entire _multiverse_," Jaden sighed.

"Nice job, genius," Yubel muttered.

Atticus looked at the ground shamefully.

"Sorry…" he said.

"No time for that," said Jaden. "We need to try to get all of the people without pupils somewhere safe. You get Zane. He's slightly less likely to kill you than me, and I need to get Chazz and Bastion, at the very least. We're going to try to herd them into the gym."

The Blizzard Prince bit his tongue to stifle a protest that Zane was just as instinctively violent toward Atticus as toward Jaden, but it _was_ his fault, so he couldn't exactly complain. As Jaden and Yubel disappeared in the direction of the Academy, Atticus grabbed Zane's arm, draped it over his own shoulder and attempted to pull him after them.

Still nothing.

"_Damn it!_"

Finally, Atticus became frustrated enough to simply pick up the Cyber duelist – who remained stiff as a board and approximately the same weight – and struck out toward the Academy, grumbling all the way about logic-crippled Kaisers and whatever that odd buzzing noise was.

When they finally reached the building, Atticus felt both guilt and amusement at the sight of pupil-less students running about like headless chickens and bumping into walls. Perhaps it was for the best that Zane was _not_ mobile.

Eventually, he reached the gym and located Jaden and Yubel – having accidentally whacked Zane against a doorway and several panicking students. Atticus had the feeling that his friend would have a few choice words for him once this whole mess was over and he noticed the bruises.

"All right," said Jaden, once they had chased in the rest of the broken Academy attendees and Atticus had found a small alcove in which to leave the Kaiser. "Time to find the Logic Singularity."

**End Chapter**

I did _not_ expect this to be a multi-chapter fic XD Now I feel really bad about the other stuff I haven't been updating.

Review please! I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can :)


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